[ he's completely confident in what he says, because he knows that it's true. generally speaking, his motives aren't questioned by any of his fans. they're too busy swooning over him, so he knows they'd be more concerned about who he was with at the park, not why he was at the park. as long as they knew it wasn't a girlfriend... it would probably just roll right off of them, honestly -- or maybe if they thought it was a girlfriend. he's done that before, with dabi, when he gets caught on the phone with him, given a coy little grin and a non-commital answer to a crowd of adoring fans demanding to know if he's talking to his girlfriend.
it's a secret, he's said, lying through his teeth -- and god, was it ever. not just because it was one of the higher-ranked members of the league of villains, but because he's never had or even truly considered having a girlfriend at any point in his entire life. that's part of the role he plays, though, and it was a surprisingly important component. ]
even if it does, i'll just lower 'em. it's fine.
[ ...and he will! it's as easy as staging an arrest of some kind, if it comes down to it -- it's not like there's any shortage of villains out there, and reporting them as being up to no good here would be easy enough. he doesn't want to admit to dabi that his back-up plan is something like that, though. he knows it'll get him a sneer and a judgmental remark about the truth of heroes, how villains aren't real people to him, blah blah blah. he doesn't want to put up with a lecture. so if he's asked, he'll lie.
truth be told, the amount of power afforded to hawks simply because of his position as the no. 2 hero is unsettling, to say the least, even to him. it hasn't come without a price, though. he's had to sacrifice practically any semblance of a personal life and a not insignificant amount of his personality in order to fit into the box created for him by the hpsc. sometimes it feels like a casket, and he can't help thinking sometimes about how it's so fucking stupid for him to continue to contort himself to stay wedged inside. but what else is he supposed to do?
firstly, he values protecting the innocent – as in, not heroes or villains, the unaffiliated that didn't ask for any part in any of this, and secondly... he's grown accustomed to his lifestyle.
his outfit alone, which actually isn't his hero costume for once, is worth several hundreds of thousands of jpy, without even counting the sneakers. he's a bit of a hype beast, always sporting the latest streetwear, and while it's not exactly the most influential or important of hobbies, it's one of the only things about him that he knows is organically his. he tries not to be presumptuous but he's pretty sure the average member of the league -- or the plf, as they're calling themselves now -- isn't able to pull off hauls like that without having to ask someone higher up than them first. in a weird twist of irony, he hates the idea of having to report to a superior just to blow his own paycheck on a single pair of shoes.
if he joins the league, he's a low level member, and he's just going from one form of overt control to another. that's not really his thing. tomura shigaraki doesn't seem like the most forgiving, easy-going type of boss, either, and he's put up with enough of that. what's the point in switching sides if it's just gonna be more of the same? ]
what are you so worried about? it's a FOREST, dabi. you're a forest's worst nightmare. ya aren't gonna get arrested... unless you're just worried about me! 😳 i'm flattered, but i can take care of myself 😁
[ he can practically imagine the irritation on dabi's face when he reads his text, and it pleases him greatly as he heads out of his apartment. it doesn't occur to him that he's slipping into a bit more familiarity -- emoji are generally reserved for people he's actually somewhat comfortable with, and he's still pretty far from that with dabi, but. does anything about this dynamic make any sense? probably not. ]
you're annoying as hell. ya only gonna eat once today, then? don't want anything to take back with ya?
[ he asks because he's stopping on the way to the park to get food. he's basically always hungry, cursed with a voracious appetite that probably stems from not having anything to eat for the majority of his formative years, to the point that every street vendor and shop owner in fukuoka as a whole knows him by name. it slows him down a little bit when he swings in to one of his favorite spots, but it's worth it for him. he's too impatient to wait 'til he arrives, though, so he lets his feathers take over handling his phone while he uses both hands to start working on his snack. ]
[ he says this as if he didn't already buy a box of dozen miscellaneous donuts with dabi in mind. it's rude to show up to a reunion without a gift -- and it's an excuse for him to eat at least a couple more for himself, so there's not exactly a downside.
it's apparent he's done this when he arrives because as he lands, there's a very conspicuous pink and white box in his hands. he's alone, of course, other than his donuts... which he helps himself to another of as he waits to be joined by his villainous companion. ]
[dabi'll keep his suspicions but let hawks handle it as he sees fit. who knows what the guy can tell others to get them to believe him. that easy going nature of his and his friendly affable personality make it easy for most to trust and like him, even when he's being a little shit. though considering the sheer curiosity he generates over "who" he'd be with at the park, hawks better be keeping some sort of surveillance or some nosy deadman's going to get a snapshot of the hero walking around with a notorious villain in the park like it's a casual meeting. huh... might be interesting to see the fallout come from that. what would he say to dodge that hitch? curious. wouldn't it be fucking amazing if one of the families of the people he's killed saw hawks wandering side-by-side with their family member's murderer?]
ya sound so confident, it's hard to disbelieve ya.
[even if that promise to "lower" those brows sounds vaguely threatening. (and good call on hawks' part to not remotely hint at staging a potential arrest to cover something; dabi would mock him for it mercilessly.) leaving the plans up to the winged hero, dabi finally lifts himself from his bed to sit up and stretches his arms overhead to pop his shoulders. okay. time to go. it'll take him a while to get to the park anyways. he swings his legs over the edge and heads out. leaves word with spinner that he's going out on a recruiting errand and tells him he'll call if he needs any kind of backup or fast escape. about all the information he ever bothers to give his allies before vanishing outside. doesn't need their curious eyes spying on him either.
as for his own wear... it's the same shit as normal. he's not gonna go dress up for this. what a stupid idea. still, should hawks indeed join the league, he'll most certainly attract attention to matter what position he lands himself in. dabi isn't sure he'll ever be included in the top brass meetings, but even if he's not, word gets around no matter how tight they try to keep things under wraps. that said, if hawks is going to come in, he'll be giving the plf information as well. dirt on the heroes, obviously. that's one of the main reasons dabi wants to recruit him. hawks' dissatisfaction with the hero society is a huge draw and the hero's sarcastic comments towards his own allies and the heroic way of doing things has resonated with a lot of villains. some see him as a kindred spirit, others a hypocrite. depends on who you ask.]
don't mistake worry for caution. the one time i drop my guard's the one time i'll get caught. didn't ya get taught to always keep one eye on ya enemy?
[figures hawks would see right through the request to settle in a park beside a forest. ah well. he can deal with that without a problem. dabi doesn't even have to be in the forest to use it to his advantage. scoffing at the idea of being worried about hawks, he lets that go without comment. damn annoying. let him think as he wants.]
sorry we ain't got the urge to steal from restaurants three times a day. i'll pass on the takeout. wouldn't wantcha superiors to bitch at ya for unwarranted expenses.
[the sheer contrast of their lives is staggering. a complete prince and pauper legend thrown into revere, both of them taking the other's place on the social rung. dabi had to learn the pains of a growling stomach and going to bed hungry, had to learn to not give a shit when attacking other people for food or stealing from stores to survive. things that would never have been thinkable for a child of the todoroki line. everything was spoiled, blackened with each experience as the fires inside him burned away at the decent life he grew up with. no clean clothes every day, no baths or showers each night before bed, no ready meals to warm and cool him as they filled him up, no soft bed to sleep on. every time the ugliness of an abandoned life hit him, it reminded him of why he was in this state, who abandoned him to this life, and churned his hatred even further. he'd kill endeavor for every single one.
glancing at his phone, dabi growls at it and rolls his eyes. seriously, this bastard's not letting up. fine.]
fine. save one. if you can.
[hope that wry sarcasm comes through the text as easily as it could through his voice. suggesting hawks doesn't have to willpower to control himself enough to preserve a remainder.
when he arrives at the location, dabi avoids the park entirely. instead, he arrives at one of the surrounding apartment complexes bordering the park and forest. slips inside and trades a room key for not burning the place down if the receptionist refused. that's all he needs to get a high-floor room and then linger in the darkness as he peers out the window towards the park below. a pair of binoculars scan from the black, watching the park for hawks and following him. he's going to stake out up here for a few minutes to scan the area and the roads around, looking for hidden police cars or other heroes skulking around on standby. only after he's made sure for himself that the coast is clear will he come down, set the key back on the desk, and take his leave.
ultimately emerging from the woods a few ways off from hawks, standing half-hidden in the shadows of the trees.]
[ hawks isn't 100% sure, but he thinks that he can feel dabi watching him while he idles in the park. it's strange being there by himself, and he doesn't actually like the silence that settles over the place during his wait. it leaves too much room for his mind to start whirring at a million miles a minute, spitting out idea after idea. he could get himself killed here. he's been so worried up 'til now about making sure that dabi feels safe, that dabi feels like he can trust him, that it hadn't ocurred to him that he was actually going into this meeting head-on and completely alone. dabi could show up with just a couple of his friends, or even by himself, and their quirk match-up would leave hawks utterly fucked, especially when they were surrounded by nothing but kindling for dabi's fire.
hawks himself is kindling for dabi's fire, even. he feels like a mouse that knows a cat is lurking nearby but can't quite see it, and there's a possibility that the cat's gone, but there's only one way to find out -- and that way to find out has horrible consequences if he's wrong. his wings flex uncomfortably behind him, feathers fluttering with his displeasure. he knows that it would amuse dabi if he knew, so he'll never tell him, but hawks is actually fearful of him. of the league, the plf. of tomura shigaraki. he's fearful of what they represent and what they could do, not only to him but to all of japan -- maybe even to the world, if tomura is as powerful as he seems to be.
his thoughts are cut short by dabi's arrival, and for the first time, he's grateful to see him. he's grateful for the distraction, the company, even if dabi is the root of exactly why he needs it in the first place. nothing about this makes any sense to him, so he chooses his personal favorite way of dealing with things (denial) and shuts himself off from that confusion. that's a problem to contend with later. keigo can try to pick through the shambles of the messes made by Hawks™ on his own time.
(although, as always, he feels like the line between the two is worn thin whenever he's around dabi. he doesn't even know if the smile that he gives his companion when he sees him is real or fake.)
he chooses to ignore dabi calling him troublesome. much like everything else that he's not crazy about, he simply tucks it away and pretends it never happened. he focuses on 'spontaneous' -- the adjective that's closest to a compliment. ]
Spontaneity is a good thing! Keeps ya from gettin' bored. Can't be too much fun layin' around with nothin' to do.
[ he holds the box of donuts up as a peace offering. or something. maybe it's just for the sake of having something to talk about that isn't, like, anything to do with why he thought this little meet up would be a good idea. ]
By the way, I saved ya at least a couple. S'outta twelve, so there's prolly around four or five of 'em left.
[ he gives him a bright, playful grin that just barely creeps into his eyes, but he doesn't step toward him. not yet, and maybe not at all.
it isn't lost on him that yet again dabi is shrouded in the tenebrosity of the forest while he's basking in the rays of the sun, and he wonders if it will ever be anything different. if dabi will ever come out of the dark. if he will ever step out of the light. will they ever find somewhere to stand with one another -- truly with one another, somewhere in the shadows, in the expanses of grey that cut between their black and white? the thought makes him uncomfortable. he can't put a feather on why.
he can, however, use a feather to take the box from his hands and send it over to dabi. he's trying to bridge the gap between them while putting himself at minimal risk.
the gesture also gives him an opportunity to subtly send two smaller feathers out beneath the box, and they dart right past dabi at a speed that he's sure is undetectable. he wants to check for others in the woods -- for voices, for footsteps, for any sort of motion at all. if dabi didn't come alone, this is the only way he'll know.
even as he silently explores the expanses of the woods behind dabi, his guardedness and apprehension don't show in his facial expression, his body language, or even in his eyes. he's an expert at turning his emotions off, burying them down so deep that it's almost like they don't exist for real, even to himself. it's to his advantage that dabi doesn't realize he's feeling insecure -- in more ways than one. ]
Havin' fun on your walk yet?
[ he's only being slightly condescending. another part of him wants to know how dabi feels about the fact that they're out together in broad daylight like this. his feathers take two separate directions in the depths of the woods, and eventually start to circle back around to him when he feels reasonably sure that he isn't planning an ambush. his little rodent heart slows down just a bit... but he doesn't relax. he never relaxes -- in general, really, but especially not around dabi or any other member of the league.
(except maybe one of them, who he's grown annoyingly attached to because he reminds him of a careful blend of himself and his father, but he chooses not to think about that when he can avoid it. forming attachments to villains, to criminals is what landed his mother where she is now. wherever she is now. it makes him ache each time he realizes that he does not know -- though he's not sure if he actually cares, or if he just knows that he should, and that alone upgrades the ache into a softened sort of agony. her absence is louder than her presence ever was, he knows that. but another thing he doesn't know is why he thinks of his mother when he's around dabi.)
from where he's standing, the power imbalance leans in dabi's favor. he needs to win him over, needs him to trust him -- it's what he's been told he needs, at least, for the greater good of everyone else. sometimes he thinks being around him is the worst thing for him, personally. he always asks questions that hawks doesn't know the answers to, but keigo does, and keigo screams from deep inside of his gut, filling him with bile and conflict that he doesn't know what to do with. that he can't do anything with. it's useless and leaves him bloated, turns the place where his heart should be into a wound that's festering from the inside with a lifelong identity crisis that he truly should have gotten under control by now. that he had gotten under control, until dabi and the challenges he's always poising forced hawks to step back and wonder if he's really all that different from the peers he pushes so hard to rebel against, if anything he does means anything at all. he sways him in ways that he can't afford to be swayed, makes actually joining the league sound like it's maybe not the life-ruining, dumbass, braindead decision that it would absolutely be.
stubbornly, he steps further back into the light, signifying that he doesn't plan on coming into the darkness to get to him. he's going to have to meet him halfway.
he hopes someday the two of them can exist in the same place without every little thing always feeling so dramatic and symbolic, but as it is now, each moment he spends with dabi feels like something straight out of a richard siken poem. ]
[hey, if he can set the other man on edge by picking an open park next to a weird forest and then not showing up on time while spying on him with binoculars from a nearby building... he'll do it. everything to keep himself at the advantage when going to meet a hero he doesn't trust. might even say he's amused by the way his wings shift and feathers ruffle as he stands waiting and waiting. tempting, but he won't make him wait long before leaving. admittedly, he had the idea of setting this up as an ambush, but only toyed with it, because that's far more worthless an idea than what he's got going. getting hawks on board with the plf of his own volition rather than threatening him, or killing him, is far more useful. they'll get a lot of information out of him that way, to say nothing of pure cooperation and an easier time. so this'll be a simple meeting. no double cross or surprise.
unless hawks asks for it.]
Some people like bein bored. Means nothing bad's happenin.
[he eyes the other's reaction to his arrival, noticing the way his reflexes relax and his expression changes from guarded concern to something friendlier and grateful. not so odd, considering dabi's been visiting with him for a while to get to know him a bit and discuss plans for the winged hero's planned for defection and entry as a double agent. at the moment, dabi's probably the only villain hawks would feel comfortable being around. well... free villain. heroes don't give a shit about villains caged up. hawks is still a troublesome man.]
Didn't ya say ya wanted to make it so heroes got time to sit around and do nothin? Bored.
[dabi drops his gaze to the offered box. right, he did say to hold one for him... the distance between them remains wide open and he can't help but feel like some wretched alley dog hawks is trying to lure out with some food. considering that's probably not a bad analogy... he can see from here just how rich and high-end hawks' clothes are. street wear people would be eagerly imitating once it hit the stores. dabi's never once given much attention to his clothes, simply wearing what he likes and being partial to this arrangement plus his coat. but the difference between them is as clear as light and dark.]
Ya just packed down half a dozen on the way here?
[no. it will never be different. the only light dabi will ever step out into is the azure brilliance of his own flames igniting endeavor's funeral pyre and blazing around them as the society his father loves and works so hard to protect goes up in endeavor's own flames gone blue. until nothing's left but a red world gone black. the sun's rays that hawks basks in, as free as a bird (except not at all), are not for him. there's no place for the two of them in this world to stand together with any truth between their stance. hawks is for everything dabi's against.
that said, when the feather balances the box on it and floats it over to him, the villain scoffs at the compromising notion. amusing. well if his prospect's putting for the effort. dabi flicks open the lid of the box and selects one with an easy grip between his thumb and index finger. then steps out of the forest and heads towards the winged hero. compromises, compromises.
what hawks finds in those woods... is nothing. he can search as he likes and there won't be any revelation of hidden spies or waiting villains in the leafy wings. the presence of electrical equipment for recording or monitoring isn't there at all. dabi's truly come alone and has no backup with him. well, save for the grass everywhere and a few acres of forest behind him and apartment buildings on all sides to get caught in the blaze. to say nothing of not needing backup when he can vomit out his own teleport, as hawks is well aware of since dabi tried to kill him and endeavor after the high-end disaster. would've succeeded too if it weren't for that damn rabbit busting into the celebration. fucking bitch...]
It's been informative so far. Got caught up in the sights.
[it's uncomfortable being out in broad daylight like this. even thought hawks has cleared out the park, many years have passed since dabi's been able to walk in a place like this without the cover of night to block him off from other people. standing in front of him, casually munching on the dark ring of sweet dough in his hands, he's left noticing all the contrasts between them. hawks, looking like a rich city-slick angel with red wings. dabi, a black-clad burnt corpse from the slums. maybe the tabloids really should've gotten a picture of this. wouldn't that be amazing to see on the front page.
but hawks wins this compromise and he gets the dog out of the alley into the real world's light for a little while. munching on the treat and looking nothing less than laid back and casual like he always does. hawks, of course, knows dabi's mind and senses are far more alert than his posture and expression give away; he's not trying to pretend otherwise. but for now, he's out of the woods and in hawks' presence. well more than meeting him halfway.
hawks is a lunatic if he thinks there's ever going to be a time when he and dabi can exist in the same place safely. and he knows that. so why bother wasting his time dreaming something so unrealistic?]
Didja bring any company? Or is the newpaper gonna be missin tomorrow's front page story?
[ hawks is, in fact, a lunatic by nearly every definition. he just hides it well behind a thick, immovable mask of absolute vapidity. there's got to be something disconnected in the kind of person that can see what he's seen and still come out on the other side with their head held high and their heart packed full of hopes about the way the future could unfold -- not only for them, either, but for others. some things about him simply don't add up outside of his own head, don't make sense to anyone else.
and one of those things is being around dabi without things like -- his fingers clench together unpleasantly when he mentions company and the news, his thoughts disrupted momentarily, though it does seem a bit funny since he was referencing things like that. the distrust, the subtle accusations, the way his own feather is still zipping through the woods behind them only to find nothing at all, making him feel sort of shitty for questioning his companion.
well. it would make him feel shitty, if he wasn't hawks, and dabi wasn't dabi -- but both of them are who they are, and it seems like they'll never be able to be anyone else, so he's simply relieved about the fact that he didn't waltz right into what would be an impressively low effort trap from the league of villains, or whatever they were calling themselves now. he still mostly thought of them as tomura shigaraki, dabi, and his unfortunate friend with a miscellaneous cast of varying relevance and importance surrounding them. ]
No company. I told ya, it's just us.
[ he understands why dabi doubts him, though. it would be hypocritical for him to be upset when he's currently pulling his feather back to him at a slow, steady, hopefully imperceptible pace after crawling their surroundings because of his own doubts. just because he gets it and even relates to it doesn't mean that he has to like it, though. he wants dabi to trust him. for a lot of reasons.
or maybe he just doesn't like not being liked, not being sort of worshipped, since that's what he's used to. people tend to trip over themselves for the slightest bit of attention from him, practically throwing themselves at his feet and begging for him to step on them, and yet. dabi looks at him like he's nothing but a piece of stray trash tumbling down the street. exactly like his father.
... ah, yeah. that's probably the root of it, really. that's what's kept him devoted to being endeavor's #1 stan for years even though it's been one of the most difficult commitments he's ever made -- current one withstanding, actually, because defending endeavor has been significantly harder than masquerading as a villain for the league. at least the league isn't sort of embarrassing sometimes with a weird fixation on destroying the person above them instead of actually being a good hero. he tries not to pick at the endeavor-shaped scabs left in his psyche, though. they're itchy, but they bleed easy, and it takes a lot to get them to stop.
a lot of him is sort of held together by itchy scabs and haphazardly applied band-aids. similar to dabi? actually? his damage is more internal than external, but he imagines that if it were to be reflected upon him physically, he would look strikingly similar to him. he's always kept his surface level clean, though. that will probably never change. ]
Is that good? [ he tries not to sound smug about the fact that dabi ended up accepting his gift, and that he seems to actually be enjoying it, but it's hard when he's actually pleased as punch about it. he's always looking for validation, even -- if not especially -- in all the wrong places. ]
There are other flavors in the box. Probably none as good as the original though, huh? S'a classic.... [ he trails off, his feathers twitching with his own discomfort, eyes drifting off to the horizon because he wants to look anywhere but dabi -- his smile stays, though, as fake but flawless as ever, casual and inviting.
he doesn't know why he's talking about donuts. he didn't invite dabi here to talk about donuts. but... honestly... what did he invite him here for? this is yet another one of his little jokes that got away from him and now he's just sort of trying to figure out the best way to go with his own flow when he doesn't even fully understand it. ]
[it's unfortunate his lunacy doesn't directly translate to his intelligence. same could be said of his feigned vapid nature and carefree disposition. dabi's more than aware those things are merely masks the other man wears. he crafts the fronts he likes other people to see and puts on different personas when it suits him to deal with the jobs laid in front of him. hawks can be anyone and anything he needs to be in order to reach his goals. in that sense, he's rather terrifying to most people. cutting someone down and serving ice cream while saving an old woman in the street all with a smile on his face deserves that reaction.
as if dabi's any stranger to being considered suspicious, untrustworthy, threatening, and very questionable. it's not like he trusts hawks anymore than he can throw him. and you can't even throw a bird. well, when it's free at least. while dabi hasn't noticed the feathers, he's pretty sure hawks has scoped the area out on his own. whether they were both up in a nest doing binoculars or if some long-range person scanning the area with a sniper rifle is waiting beyond dabi's own perusal.]
Funny ya think I trust ya.
[he says while eating a donut that could be laced with drugs or poison. while he won't put hawks past using such underhand methods, he doubts he'd ruin such an event as this with that sort of surprise. besides, even if there were drugs, he already threatened the other hero with torching the place if he suspected something off. so this really is a simple meeting between them. donuts being the surprise guest appearance. and no, he misses the other feather, so hawks gets away with free subterfuge.
dabi looks at most people like they're nothing but trash on the road. he stopped caring about people a long time ago. though he's also looked at hawks like he's a piece of raw meat needing to get roasted, so there's something else to think about. good thing he can't go reading hawks' thoughts right now, cause he'd be less than pleased to know the man's thinking of endeavor while standing here facing with dabi in a private, secret meeting. that's akin to cheating and he might have to leave his charred corpse buried in the woods if that's the fucking case. he's a spiteful creature with a dangerous revenge streak. or did he forget?
and don't you fucking compare yourself to him when it comes to scarring and holding yourself together. you don't even know the meaning of the word, even with your shit past... you gotta fucking die first. but that's not a problem cause he has no idea and is busy having a donut for the first time in months. it's sweeter than he remembers and he's actively attempting not to cram it into his mouth.]
Almost too sweet. [it's not like they go robbing donut stores for a quick snack. dabi himself isn't huge on sweets, though he isn't adverse to them either. intense flavors aren't his preference. he thought he was doing himself a favor with the chocolate one, but that's chocolate chocolate, so it's going to be demanding water sooner or later.
that said, figuring things are fine, the villain finally steps out of the shelter of the woods. a dark stain on the otherwise green and colored areas of the park as he moves. hawks stands out among the park, but not in the "out of place" manner that dabi does. listening to him talk about other flavors of donuts is pretty telling of what's going on in his head and he comes to a stop in front of the other hero, eyeing him with an icy gaze for fire user.] Ya got no idea why ya made this meetin, do ya...
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Date: 2021-11-03 03:12 am (UTC)[ he's completely confident in what he says, because he knows that it's true. generally speaking, his motives aren't questioned by any of his fans. they're too busy swooning over him, so he knows they'd be more concerned about who he was with at the park, not why he was at the park. as long as they knew it wasn't a girlfriend... it would probably just roll right off of them, honestly -- or maybe if they thought it was a girlfriend. he's done that before, with dabi, when he gets caught on the phone with him, given a coy little grin and a non-commital answer to a crowd of adoring fans demanding to know if he's talking to his girlfriend.
it's a secret, he's said, lying through his teeth -- and god, was it ever. not just because it was one of the higher-ranked members of the league of villains, but because he's never had or even truly considered having a girlfriend at any point in his entire life. that's part of the role he plays, though, and it was a surprisingly important component. ]
even if it does, i'll just lower 'em. it's fine.
[ ...and he will! it's as easy as staging an arrest of some kind, if it comes down to it -- it's not like there's any shortage of villains out there, and reporting them as being up to no good here would be easy enough. he doesn't want to admit to dabi that his back-up plan is something like that, though. he knows it'll get him a sneer and a judgmental remark about the truth of heroes, how villains aren't real people to him, blah blah blah. he doesn't want to put up with a lecture. so if he's asked, he'll lie.
truth be told, the amount of power afforded to hawks simply because of his position as the no. 2 hero is unsettling, to say the least, even to him. it hasn't come without a price, though. he's had to sacrifice practically any semblance of a personal life and a not insignificant amount of his personality in order to fit into the box created for him by the hpsc. sometimes it feels like a casket, and he can't help thinking sometimes about how it's so fucking stupid for him to continue to contort himself to stay wedged inside. but what else is he supposed to do?
firstly, he values protecting the innocent – as in, not heroes or villains, the unaffiliated that didn't ask for any part in any of this, and secondly... he's grown accustomed to his lifestyle.
his outfit alone, which actually isn't his hero costume for once, is worth several hundreds of thousands of jpy, without even counting the sneakers. he's a bit of a hype beast, always sporting the latest streetwear, and while it's not exactly the most influential or important of hobbies, it's one of the only things about him that he knows is organically his. he tries not to be presumptuous but he's pretty sure the average member of the league -- or the plf, as they're calling themselves now -- isn't able to pull off hauls like that without having to ask someone higher up than them first. in a weird twist of irony, he hates the idea of having to report to a superior just to blow his own paycheck on a single pair of shoes.
if he joins the league, he's a low level member, and he's just going from one form of overt control to another. that's not really his thing. tomura shigaraki doesn't seem like the most forgiving, easy-going type of boss, either, and he's put up with enough of that. what's the point in switching sides if it's just gonna be more of the same? ]
what are you so worried about? it's a FOREST, dabi. you're a forest's worst nightmare. ya aren't gonna get arrested... unless you're just worried about me! 😳 i'm flattered, but i can take care of myself 😁
[ he can practically imagine the irritation on dabi's face when he reads his text, and it pleases him greatly as he heads out of his apartment. it doesn't occur to him that he's slipping into a bit more familiarity -- emoji are generally reserved for people he's actually somewhat comfortable with, and he's still pretty far from that with dabi, but. does anything about this dynamic make any sense? probably not. ]
you're annoying as hell. ya only gonna eat once today, then? don't want anything to take back with ya?
[ he asks because he's stopping on the way to the park to get food. he's basically always hungry, cursed with a voracious appetite that probably stems from not having anything to eat for the majority of his formative years, to the point that every street vendor and shop owner in fukuoka as a whole knows him by name. it slows him down a little bit when he swings in to one of his favorite spots, but it's worth it for him. he's too impatient to wait 'til he arrives, though, so he lets his feathers take over handling his phone while he uses both hands to start working on his snack. ]
last chance. i got donuts. [ he's attached two images, expertly taken by his feathers. ] it's not too late, if ya want one...
[ he says this as if he didn't already buy a box of dozen miscellaneous donuts with dabi in mind. it's rude to show up to a reunion without a gift -- and it's an excuse for him to eat at least a couple more for himself, so there's not exactly a downside.
it's apparent he's done this when he arrives because as he lands, there's a very conspicuous pink and white box in his hands. he's alone, of course, other than his donuts... which he helps himself to another of as he waits to be joined by his villainous companion. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-03 11:29 pm (UTC)[dabi'll keep his suspicions but let hawks handle it as he sees fit. who knows what the guy can tell others to get them to believe him. that easy going nature of his and his friendly affable personality make it easy for most to trust and like him, even when he's being a little shit. though considering the sheer curiosity he generates over "who" he'd be with at the park, hawks better be keeping some sort of surveillance or some nosy deadman's going to get a snapshot of the hero walking around with a notorious villain in the park like it's a casual meeting. huh... might be interesting to see the fallout come from that. what would he say to dodge that hitch? curious. wouldn't it be fucking amazing if one of the families of the people he's killed saw hawks wandering side-by-side with their family member's murderer?]
ya sound so confident, it's hard to disbelieve ya.
[even if that promise to "lower" those brows sounds vaguely threatening. (and good call on hawks' part to not remotely hint at staging a potential arrest to cover something; dabi would mock him for it mercilessly.) leaving the plans up to the winged hero, dabi finally lifts himself from his bed to sit up and stretches his arms overhead to pop his shoulders. okay. time to go. it'll take him a while to get to the park anyways. he swings his legs over the edge and heads out. leaves word with spinner that he's going out on a recruiting errand and tells him he'll call if he needs any kind of backup or fast escape. about all the information he ever bothers to give his allies before vanishing outside. doesn't need their curious eyes spying on him either.
as for his own wear... it's the same shit as normal. he's not gonna go dress up for this. what a stupid idea. still, should hawks indeed join the league, he'll most certainly attract attention to matter what position he lands himself in. dabi isn't sure he'll ever be included in the top brass meetings, but even if he's not, word gets around no matter how tight they try to keep things under wraps. that said, if hawks is going to come in, he'll be giving the plf information as well. dirt on the heroes, obviously. that's one of the main reasons dabi wants to recruit him. hawks' dissatisfaction with the hero society is a huge draw and the hero's sarcastic comments towards his own allies and the heroic way of doing things has resonated with a lot of villains. some see him as a kindred spirit, others a hypocrite. depends on who you ask.]
don't mistake worry for caution. the one time i drop my guard's the one time i'll get caught. didn't ya get taught to always keep one eye on ya enemy?
[figures hawks would see right through the request to settle in a park beside a forest. ah well. he can deal with that without a problem. dabi doesn't even have to be in the forest to use it to his advantage. scoffing at the idea of being worried about hawks, he lets that go without comment. damn annoying. let him think as he wants.]
sorry we ain't got the urge to steal from restaurants three times a day. i'll pass on the takeout. wouldn't wantcha superiors to bitch at ya for unwarranted expenses.
[the sheer contrast of their lives is staggering. a complete prince and pauper legend thrown into revere, both of them taking the other's place on the social rung. dabi had to learn the pains of a growling stomach and going to bed hungry, had to learn to not give a shit when attacking other people for food or stealing from stores to survive. things that would never have been thinkable for a child of the todoroki line. everything was spoiled, blackened with each experience as the fires inside him burned away at the decent life he grew up with. no clean clothes every day, no baths or showers each night before bed, no ready meals to warm and cool him as they filled him up, no soft bed to sleep on. every time the ugliness of an abandoned life hit him, it reminded him of why he was in this state, who abandoned him to this life, and churned his hatred even further. he'd kill endeavor for every single one.
glancing at his phone, dabi growls at it and rolls his eyes. seriously, this bastard's not letting up. fine.]
fine. save one. if you can.
[hope that wry sarcasm comes through the text as easily as it could through his voice. suggesting hawks doesn't have to willpower to control himself enough to preserve a remainder.
when he arrives at the location, dabi avoids the park entirely. instead, he arrives at one of the surrounding apartment complexes bordering the park and forest. slips inside and trades a room key for not burning the place down if the receptionist refused. that's all he needs to get a high-floor room and then linger in the darkness as he peers out the window towards the park below. a pair of binoculars scan from the black, watching the park for hawks and following him. he's going to stake out up here for a few minutes to scan the area and the roads around, looking for hidden police cars or other heroes skulking around on standby. only after he's made sure for himself that the coast is clear will he come down, set the key back on the desk, and take his leave.
ultimately emerging from the woods a few ways off from hawks, standing half-hidden in the shadows of the trees.]
Ya really are a spontaneous, troublesome man.
this is obnoxious i apologize oh my god
Date: 2021-11-04 10:15 am (UTC)hawks himself is kindling for dabi's fire, even. he feels like a mouse that knows a cat is lurking nearby but can't quite see it, and there's a possibility that the cat's gone, but there's only one way to find out -- and that way to find out has horrible consequences if he's wrong. his wings flex uncomfortably behind him, feathers fluttering with his displeasure. he knows that it would amuse dabi if he knew, so he'll never tell him, but hawks is actually fearful of him. of the league, the plf. of tomura shigaraki. he's fearful of what they represent and what they could do, not only to him but to all of japan -- maybe even to the world, if tomura is as powerful as he seems to be.
his thoughts are cut short by dabi's arrival, and for the first time, he's grateful to see him. he's grateful for the distraction, the company, even if dabi is the root of exactly why he needs it in the first place. nothing about this makes any sense to him, so he chooses his personal favorite way of dealing with things (denial) and shuts himself off from that confusion. that's a problem to contend with later. keigo can try to pick through the shambles of the messes made by Hawks™ on his own time.
(although, as always, he feels like the line between the two is worn thin whenever he's around dabi. he doesn't even know if the smile that he gives his companion when he sees him is real or fake.)
he chooses to ignore dabi calling him troublesome. much like everything else that he's not crazy about, he simply tucks it away and pretends it never happened. he focuses on 'spontaneous' -- the adjective that's closest to a compliment. ]
Spontaneity is a good thing! Keeps ya from gettin' bored. Can't be too much fun layin' around with nothin' to do.
[ he holds the box of donuts up as a peace offering. or something. maybe it's just for the sake of having something to talk about that isn't, like, anything to do with why he thought this little meet up would be a good idea. ]
By the way, I saved ya at least a couple. S'outta twelve, so there's prolly around four or five of 'em left.
[ he gives him a bright, playful grin that just barely creeps into his eyes, but he doesn't step toward him. not yet, and maybe not at all.
it isn't lost on him that yet again dabi is shrouded in the tenebrosity of the forest while he's basking in the rays of the sun, and he wonders if it will ever be anything different. if dabi will ever come out of the dark. if he will ever step out of the light. will they ever find somewhere to stand with one another -- truly with one another, somewhere in the shadows, in the expanses of grey that cut between their black and white? the thought makes him uncomfortable. he can't put a feather on why.
he can, however, use a feather to take the box from his hands and send it over to dabi. he's trying to bridge the gap between them while putting himself at minimal risk.
the gesture also gives him an opportunity to subtly send two smaller feathers out beneath the box, and they dart right past dabi at a speed that he's sure is undetectable. he wants to check for others in the woods -- for voices, for footsteps, for any sort of motion at all. if dabi didn't come alone, this is the only way he'll know.
even as he silently explores the expanses of the woods behind dabi, his guardedness and apprehension don't show in his facial expression, his body language, or even in his eyes. he's an expert at turning his emotions off, burying them down so deep that it's almost like they don't exist for real, even to himself. it's to his advantage that dabi doesn't realize he's feeling insecure -- in more ways than one. ]
Havin' fun on your walk yet?
[ he's only being slightly condescending. another part of him wants to know how dabi feels about the fact that they're out together in broad daylight like this. his feathers take two separate directions in the depths of the woods, and eventually start to circle back around to him when he feels reasonably sure that he isn't planning an ambush. his little rodent heart slows down just a bit... but he doesn't relax. he never relaxes -- in general, really, but especially not around dabi or any other member of the league.
(except maybe one of them, who he's grown annoyingly attached to because he reminds him of a careful blend of himself and his father, but he chooses not to think about that when he can avoid it. forming attachments to villains, to criminals is what landed his mother where she is now. wherever she is now. it makes him ache each time he realizes that he does not know -- though he's not sure if he actually cares, or if he just knows that he should, and that alone upgrades the ache into a softened sort of agony. her absence is louder than her presence ever was, he knows that. but another thing he doesn't know is why he thinks of his mother when he's around dabi.)
from where he's standing, the power imbalance leans in dabi's favor. he needs to win him over, needs him to trust him -- it's what he's been told he needs, at least, for the greater good of everyone else. sometimes he thinks being around him is the worst thing for him, personally. he always asks questions that hawks doesn't know the answers to, but keigo does, and keigo screams from deep inside of his gut, filling him with bile and conflict that he doesn't know what to do with. that he can't do anything with. it's useless and leaves him bloated, turns the place where his heart should be into a wound that's festering from the inside with a lifelong identity crisis that he truly should have gotten under control by now. that he had gotten under control, until dabi and the challenges he's always poising forced hawks to step back and wonder if he's really all that different from the peers he pushes so hard to rebel against, if anything he does means anything at all. he sways him in ways that he can't afford to be swayed, makes actually joining the league sound like it's maybe not the life-ruining, dumbass, braindead decision that it would absolutely be.
stubbornly, he steps further back into the light, signifying that he doesn't plan on coming into the darkness to get to him. he's going to have to meet him halfway.
he hopes someday the two of them can exist in the same place without every little thing always feeling so dramatic and symbolic, but as it is now, each moment he spends with dabi feels like something straight out of a richard siken poem. ]
ain't introspection glorious?
Date: 2021-11-05 11:03 pm (UTC)unless hawks asks for it.]
Some people like bein bored. Means nothing bad's happenin.
[he eyes the other's reaction to his arrival, noticing the way his reflexes relax and his expression changes from guarded concern to something friendlier and grateful. not so odd, considering dabi's been visiting with him for a while to get to know him a bit and discuss plans for the winged hero's planned for defection and entry as a double agent. at the moment, dabi's probably the only villain hawks would feel comfortable being around. well... free villain. heroes don't give a shit about villains caged up. hawks is still a troublesome man.]
Didn't ya say ya wanted to make it so heroes got time to sit around and do nothin? Bored.
[dabi drops his gaze to the offered box. right, he did say to hold one for him... the distance between them remains wide open and he can't help but feel like some wretched alley dog hawks is trying to lure out with some food. considering that's probably not a bad analogy... he can see from here just how rich and high-end hawks' clothes are. street wear people would be eagerly imitating once it hit the stores. dabi's never once given much attention to his clothes, simply wearing what he likes and being partial to this arrangement plus his coat. but the difference between them is as clear as light and dark.]
Ya just packed down half a dozen on the way here?
[no. it will never be different. the only light dabi will ever step out into is the azure brilliance of his own flames igniting endeavor's funeral pyre and blazing around them as the society his father loves and works so hard to protect goes up in endeavor's own flames gone blue. until nothing's left but a red world gone black. the sun's rays that hawks basks in, as free as a bird (except not at all), are not for him. there's no place for the two of them in this world to stand together with any truth between their stance. hawks is for everything dabi's against.
that said, when the feather balances the box on it and floats it over to him, the villain scoffs at the compromising notion. amusing. well if his prospect's putting for the effort. dabi flicks open the lid of the box and selects one with an easy grip between his thumb and index finger. then steps out of the forest and heads towards the winged hero. compromises, compromises.
what hawks finds in those woods... is nothing. he can search as he likes and there won't be any revelation of hidden spies or waiting villains in the leafy wings. the presence of electrical equipment for recording or monitoring isn't there at all. dabi's truly come alone and has no backup with him. well, save for the grass everywhere and a few acres of forest behind him and apartment buildings on all sides to get caught in the blaze. to say nothing of not needing backup when he can vomit out his own teleport, as hawks is well aware of since dabi tried to kill him and endeavor after the high-end disaster. would've succeeded too if it weren't for that damn rabbit busting into the celebration. fucking bitch...]
It's been informative so far. Got caught up in the sights.
[it's uncomfortable being out in broad daylight like this. even thought hawks has cleared out the park, many years have passed since dabi's been able to walk in a place like this without the cover of night to block him off from other people. standing in front of him, casually munching on the dark ring of sweet dough in his hands, he's left noticing all the contrasts between them. hawks, looking like a rich city-slick angel with red wings. dabi, a black-clad burnt corpse from the slums. maybe the tabloids really should've gotten a picture of this. wouldn't that be amazing to see on the front page.
but hawks wins this compromise and he gets the dog out of the alley into the real world's light for a little while. munching on the treat and looking nothing less than laid back and casual like he always does. hawks, of course, knows dabi's mind and senses are far more alert than his posture and expression give away; he's not trying to pretend otherwise. but for now, he's out of the woods and in hawks' presence. well more than meeting him halfway.
hawks is a lunatic if he thinks there's ever going to be a time when he and dabi can exist in the same place safely. and he knows that. so why bother wasting his time dreaming something so unrealistic?]
Didja bring any company? Or is the newpaper gonna be missin tomorrow's front page story?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-20 03:11 am (UTC)and one of those things is being around dabi without things like -- his fingers clench together unpleasantly when he mentions company and the news, his thoughts disrupted momentarily, though it does seem a bit funny since he was referencing things like that. the distrust, the subtle accusations, the way his own feather is still zipping through the woods behind them only to find nothing at all, making him feel sort of shitty for questioning his companion.
well. it would make him feel shitty, if he wasn't hawks, and dabi wasn't dabi -- but both of them are who they are, and it seems like they'll never be able to be anyone else, so he's simply relieved about the fact that he didn't waltz right into what would be an impressively low effort trap from the league of villains, or whatever they were calling themselves now. he still mostly thought of them as tomura shigaraki, dabi, and his unfortunate friend with a miscellaneous cast of varying relevance and importance surrounding them. ]
No company. I told ya, it's just us.
[ he understands why dabi doubts him, though. it would be hypocritical for him to be upset when he's currently pulling his feather back to him at a slow, steady, hopefully imperceptible pace after crawling their surroundings because of his own doubts. just because he gets it and even relates to it doesn't mean that he has to like it, though. he wants dabi to trust him. for a lot of reasons.
or maybe he just doesn't like not being liked, not being sort of worshipped, since that's what he's used to. people tend to trip over themselves for the slightest bit of attention from him, practically throwing themselves at his feet and begging for him to step on them, and yet. dabi looks at him like he's nothing but a piece of stray trash tumbling down the street. exactly like his father.
... ah, yeah. that's probably the root of it, really. that's what's kept him devoted to being endeavor's #1 stan for years even though it's been one of the most difficult commitments he's ever made -- current one withstanding, actually, because defending endeavor has been significantly harder than masquerading as a villain for the league. at least the league isn't sort of embarrassing sometimes with a weird fixation on destroying the person above them instead of actually being a good hero. he tries not to pick at the endeavor-shaped scabs left in his psyche, though. they're itchy, but they bleed easy, and it takes a lot to get them to stop.
a lot of him is sort of held together by itchy scabs and haphazardly applied band-aids. similar to dabi? actually? his damage is more internal than external, but he imagines that if it were to be reflected upon him physically, he would look strikingly similar to him. he's always kept his surface level clean, though. that will probably never change. ]
Is that good? [ he tries not to sound smug about the fact that dabi ended up accepting his gift, and that he seems to actually be enjoying it, but it's hard when he's actually pleased as punch about it. he's always looking for validation, even -- if not especially -- in all the wrong places. ]
There are other flavors in the box. Probably none as good as the original though, huh? S'a classic.... [ he trails off, his feathers twitching with his own discomfort, eyes drifting off to the horizon because he wants to look anywhere but dabi -- his smile stays, though, as fake but flawless as ever, casual and inviting.
he doesn't know why he's talking about donuts. he didn't invite dabi here to talk about donuts. but... honestly... what did he invite him here for? this is yet another one of his little jokes that got away from him and now he's just sort of trying to figure out the best way to go with his own flow when he doesn't even fully understand it. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-22 01:32 am (UTC)as if dabi's any stranger to being considered suspicious, untrustworthy, threatening, and very questionable. it's not like he trusts hawks anymore than he can throw him. and you can't even throw a bird. well, when it's free at least. while dabi hasn't noticed the feathers, he's pretty sure hawks has scoped the area out on his own. whether they were both up in a nest doing binoculars or if some long-range person scanning the area with a sniper rifle is waiting beyond dabi's own perusal.]
Funny ya think I trust ya.
[he says while eating a donut that could be laced with drugs or poison. while he won't put hawks past using such underhand methods, he doubts he'd ruin such an event as this with that sort of surprise. besides, even if there were drugs, he already threatened the other hero with torching the place if he suspected something off. so this really is a simple meeting between them. donuts being the surprise guest appearance. and no, he misses the other feather, so hawks gets away with free subterfuge.
dabi looks at most people like they're nothing but trash on the road. he stopped caring about people a long time ago. though he's also looked at hawks like he's a piece of raw meat needing to get roasted, so there's something else to think about. good thing he can't go reading hawks' thoughts right now, cause he'd be less than pleased to know the man's thinking of endeavor while standing here facing with dabi in a private, secret meeting. that's akin to cheating and he might have to leave his charred corpse buried in the woods if that's the fucking case. he's a spiteful creature with a dangerous revenge streak. or did he forget?
and don't you fucking compare yourself to him when it comes to scarring and holding yourself together. you don't even know the meaning of the word, even with your shit past... you gotta fucking die first. but that's not a problem cause he has no idea and is busy having a donut for the first time in months. it's sweeter than he remembers and he's actively attempting not to cram it into his mouth.]
Almost too sweet. [it's not like they go robbing donut stores for a quick snack. dabi himself isn't huge on sweets, though he isn't adverse to them either. intense flavors aren't his preference. he thought he was doing himself a favor with the chocolate one, but that's chocolate chocolate, so it's going to be demanding water sooner or later.
that said, figuring things are fine, the villain finally steps out of the shelter of the woods. a dark stain on the otherwise green and colored areas of the park as he moves. hawks stands out among the park, but not in the "out of place" manner that dabi does. listening to him talk about other flavors of donuts is pretty telling of what's going on in his head and he comes to a stop in front of the other hero, eyeing him with an icy gaze for fire user.] Ya got no idea why ya made this meetin, do ya...